Empathy (Part II)

This is my second post of the day, so it would probably be advantageous for you to scroll down and read the first post...first. It will be on the same subject, so it shouldn't be hard to find.

The only complaint I have with being an empathetic person comes on the competitive field. I am much more likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Calling ticky-tack fouls on myself on the basketball court, playing a ball that clearly missed the line or not questioning someone that has clearly cheated me. Unfortunately, this also extends to the teams that I root for. Perennial losers, Cleveland sports teams get my support year after year. This happens not because I enjoy disappointment, but because I can forgive them, because to a certain extent I know what it's like to be a loser.

For this one downfall of empathy, it has major benefits in my life. People tell me things. I don't look to be an ear for people to throw private information to, it just somehow happens that way. The only thing I can think is because I have shown an ability to listen with emotion and care about what the other person is saying. This helps when being friends with people. It also happens with people I don't know too. As a counselor at kids camp one year, I came across a girl that I hadn't seen up to that point in the week. She was off by herself, sobbing hysterically. I had an obligation as a leader of the camp to go and talk to her, but that is not what made me do so. I felt compelled to comfort her. After a couple minutes of crying because she missed home, she was ready to rejoin the group. I was comforted by the fact that she was put to ease.

The area with which I view empathy as a gift within my own life is in the classroom. When I graduated college and got my first job, I was pretty rubbish in the classroom. I will fully admit that. However, because I had such love for the kids, I wanted to become better. I love that there are still many of my student-teaching students that remember me fondly (even though I believe I may have done irreparable harm to them as learners) and still many of my students from SCS remember me.

I praise the Lord for blessing me with a gift that has two sides to it. There are disappointments that come from empathy, but there is also joy.

Empathy

I was reminded a couple days ago why I dislike my empathetic nature. Normally, being empathetic is a good thing. You are able to relate to others on a very personal level. You clearly are able to see from someone else's point of view. When you work with kids (especially in a school setting), it is easy to see how many need to learn this trait. There are others that naturally, intuitively feel empathy towards others. I consider myself in the latter of these two. For as long as I can remember I have been sensitive to the needs of those around me. I would kill me to see people hurting when I was a kid. This along has brought me my fair share of discomfort over my life. I am going to touch on a different aspect of empathy which I was only reminded of a coupld days ago.

I received a phone call from a friend a couple days ago, inquiring whether or not I would be interested in playing tennis. I have not played tennis for nearly two years, so I jumped at the opportunity to get out and hit the fuzzy ball around. I have learned over the years that I am better than most people who would like to play me in tennis. Please do not misunderstand, this is not hubris, it is just fact. This does not matter one iota. Mac has been a very casual tennis player, and only picks up a racket on rare occasions, but he is still able to get games off me. I know there are times to compete and times to have fun, the problem is differentiating between the two.

My senior year of high school was my banner year as far as tennis is concerned. I played my best and my record reflected such. I finished my senior year with an 18-9 record. There are a lot of small teams in mid-Ohio, farm communities where kids do more working than focusing on sports. I was very fortunate to have parents that wanted me to get better and helped me realize it. But there were several teams that, to be honest, were not very good. This did not matter. I played my entire senior year without "bageling" (6-0, 6-0) anyone. I was so concerned with the other person's feelings, that I would inevitably ease up and allow them to steal a game. It was even worse if I thought the other person was hurt.

The story which I remember most vividly involves a rival I had from a neighboring school. Kris Ross went to Ontario, and through a mutual acquaintance, Kris and I became "friends". Kris believed himself to be the better tennis player which was fine (in retrospect, he may have been), but I was able to best him. I was fine with the competition against him, but he had significantly better scores against mutual opponents. Kris and I both played first singles for our respective teams, and we played against each other's competition. So, Kris began to tell me a story of how he was able to beat the number one player from Crestline (another high school in the area) in 13 minutes. He was able to play the entire match in 13 minutes. In his mind, he was astounded with how completely he destroyed his opponent. I, on the other hand, was wondering what it would be like to be on the other end of a shellacking that bad. True to form, when I played said Crestline player, I won 6-1, 6-1.

I am very thankful I am an empathetic person, it does take a bit of the killer instinct out of sports though.

The Mighty Indians

Let it be known, every line from this came from an episode of “The Mighty Boosh”. There is essentially no original content. For those of you that have never seen the show, let's just say, it's random.

The Mighty Indians

Come with us now on a journey through time and space, to the world of the Cleveland Indians.

Marte: Hi, I'm Andy Marte, and this crazy character is Eric Wedge.
Wedge: Don't touch me.
Marte: He's such a joker.
Wedge: I'm not joking. Don't ever touch me. Not now, not during the game.
Both: Ah...
Wedge: Don't touch me. Andy, I thought you were dead.
Laporta: I rescued him from the edge of death.
Wedge: Well, what do you want a chocolate fruitcake with beans on it? Get to work.

(Mark Shaprio walks into the room. Rifle in hand, he fires into the air, the players scatter)

Shapiro: Nothing to worry about. I'm sorting things out here.
Hafner: Where are all the players from the team going Mark? Something's wrong here, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
Shapiro: Shut up Travis, you're out of your depth.

(to Wedge) The old men that sponsor the team are coming by today, and if they see the team knocking on death's door, they aren't going to pay me bo-diddly.
Wedge: So, what do you want me to do about it?
Shapiro: I want you to dress as a gorilla. You know, eat a banana, dance around, kick some hay.
Wedge: I'm not doin' that. I'm a man. I've got dignity and poise, I'm not dressing up as a gorilla.
Shapiro: Well, if you don't all the players will go poor and they won't be able to afford toboggans and sausages. Walk and talk with me. I'm your boss man, but I'm also your friend. I'm not your wife, but we have made massively violent love. Did I say that out loud?
Wedge (to Andy): Are you still here?

(Andy drops his head, feeling dejected once again. Suddenly music fills the clubhouse)

Andy: All the things I'll never see.
All the things I'll never be.
All there is that's left for me,
Is here in this eternity
Of Isolation...Isolation.

The cavalcade, the jamboree
Of life I thought was meant for me.
I never dreamed that it would be
Replaced by this eternity
Of Isolation...Isolation

Wedge: Okay, you made your point in song format.

(Andy sullenly shuffles back to the end of the bench. As he nears his designated seat, Andy overhears several conversations)


Wood: What do you think of me?
Marson: I don't rightly know, Sir.
Wood: Make an assessment.
Marson: I suspect you're a right Southern gentleman.
Wood: You got that right mother licker.
You failed to take into account my mirror balls.


Gimenez: Think of it. Chris Gimenez Colon Player.
Brantley: Colon player?
Gimenez: It has ring to it.
Brantley: I think it has the wrong ring to it.


Choo: Noooooo...who are you? How can I understand you?
Sizemore: I'm Grady Sizemore. The man, the myth, the maverick.

(Grady's arm in a sling, all look concerned as to whether or not he will be able to return to 2006 form)

Skinner: There's only one way to get this boy ready for the game.
Willis: Training montage...
Shelton: with music.

Sizemore: This is a dangerous mission. All I ask is you remember me.
(leaves room)
Wedge:Who was that?

Hafner: I've got a bad feeling about this.

(Having successfully convinced Grady to have season ending surgery and brokered three trades which will be completed at season's end, Shaprio and Dolan sit together in the owner's box. There conversation turns to the team...and money)

Dolan: This is sheer liquid wonderment.
Shapiro: We're going to make a fortune. We could split the profits 50-50.
Dolan: 60-40.
Shapiro: What?
Dolan: Nothing, my pretty.
Shapiro: Flirtini's for everyone.

And so, the moral of the story is, “Never loo...”

The World Race

It was only recently that I was alerted to the fact that there is an organization which runs mission teams in an "Amazing Race"-esque fashion. Upon hearing this, there was both confusion and fascination on my end. So they travel to different places around the world (cool!), they partake in interesting challenges that make sense only to the natives (okay), they fight and bicker with other teams that are also out on the road (that doesn't seem very Christian); but I was pleasantly surprised to find that the last two of these were not part of the plan.

This current team, made up of five ladies and two guys, made its way to Arad because there happens to be a family connection. Kendra is related to the Dunns. The World Race group needed to fill a gap after completing the Irish portion of the trip, before continuing on to Egypt. So, Kendra got in touch with Scott and the plans became more concrete. I have to admit, even though I do not know much about the World Race, if all of the members are like this current team, I am very impressed.

A wonderful group of people have come to this city of Arad. Seeing their hearts by talking with them, worshiping with them and having fellowship with one another has been very beneficial to everyone here. Inevitably when working with people you can't truly get to know, there frequently be times of doubt and depression. The, "what have I gotten myself into" moments creep into the heads of everyone from time to time. Unfortunately, when living in a foreign country the problems are exponentially more discouraging. It was nice having a breath of fresh air come in the form of this team. It was a real pick-me-up, that was needed.

It is always surprising when your life is blessed by people you don't know. This has certainly been one of those times, which I will not forget.

Side-bar - making these types of connections is why I enjoy traveling so much. Even though I may never speak to these people ever again, they have shared in a part of my life. If I was ever to run into them again we could carry on like old chums. There is always the chance that somewhere down the road I might be able to help them in a more substantial way. Old friendships are what has allowed me to travel so freely these last several years.

A new ministry

I have very exciting news. I am a self-proclaimed sports fanatic to a ridiculous degree, and for the first time since I arrived in Romania last year I am able to use this fanaticism. Shortly after I arrived, Stephen saw that I was able to bring my baseball glove back with me this year and he went on to mention a new ministry that has begun in Bujac (an area of Arad on the west side). I was excited to hear that a missionary has begun teaching baseball to the kids of Arad. This thrills me to no end. I am by no means a great player, however through the countless hours of my childhood and adulthood watching baseball, I feel I have something to add.

All this on top of my being able to watch an American football game (the Browns no less) with actual Americans in my Romanian apartment was pretty wicked awesome. Unfortunately, it was a loss to the Minnesota Favres, but it will be the only game I get to watch this year with real people until the Super Bowl. On other sad news, it was another disappointing week for the Buckeyes of The Ohio State University. This will be something I will blog about at a later date, because my family has a history of supporting teams with no chance of winning (i.e. Cleveland Indians, Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Cavaliers with the latter having the best shot of winning within the next 10 years). The Walters' are by nature gluttons for punishment, but as I said that is a blog for another time and another place.

Cast of Characters

I began to realize that anyone reading this blog may find it difficult to understand without having a clear grasp of the people I'm talking about. Ergo, I present to you, the players of my life in Romania (with description).

The Dunns

Scott - the patriarch of the Dunn house. Scott's work consists of working with the Andres family in assisting the Emmanuel Church, promoting Romanian growth and cultivating leaders to take over the church.

Paula - the matriarch (married to Scott), is personable, the networker and is on the Oaza board. Paula works with the Oaza foundation to help provide for the children that are in the house, and those that have transitioned on.

Stephen - the older of the two Dunn children. Stephen is very gifted with numbers, and an overall bright kid. Entering his senior year, the job becomes finding the right situation as the family transitions home for a year of homestay.

Lydia - the baby, is equally intelligent. Lydia is the intrinsically motivated student that stays on top of her studies. She is also the one most likely to leave class early to go hang out downtown with friends.

The Balls

Spencer - hailing from Flint (we still get along with each other), this 29 year old family man came last year and has been working with the Oaza house. A general handyman and man with a car, Spencer does the little things that help the Oaza children get to the things they want to do.

Lynsey - is heavily involved in her own ministry with the children of Bujac. Lynsey teaches two English classes to anyone that wants to attend. With increasing numbers and interest from the community, this is a ministry that is taking off.

Trinity - the wisest member of the Ball family is an incredibly intelligent (and outspoken) four year old with a mind of her own. Trinity has already begun preparation for kindergarten when the family returns from their two year sojourn, and already has most of the skills mastered.

Jonathan - the wildcard of the Ball family. This rambunctious two year old is never short on energy, or mischievousness. Jonathan is hilarious and this occasionally gets him into trouble.

Principle Andres family

Nelu - the patriarch of the family and the Emmanuel church, Nelu has very graciously served the church since it was started.

Neli - the watchful mom, takes care of some of the day to day Oaza operations, including the distributing of goods to the children.

Laura - the eldest of the Andres children, it is Laura's vision that allows Oaza to be a reality. Incredibly kind and compassionate, Laura has helped the lives of many of Arad's children and served countless more.

Casius - number two in the family, is mostly involved with the Emmanuel church as part-time pastor and full time worship leader. Casi plays guitar and sings, and brings insight into the congregation. Casi is married to Daniela and they have a son, Timi

Patricia - more commonly known as Patri, works very closely with her sister in making sure Oaza runs smoothly. Parti has many duties including being with the kids throughout the day. Patri is married to Cesar (pronounced Che-zar) and they have a daughter, Nicol.

Although they are not with me in Romania, I would be remiss if I didn't include my own family, because they are a part of my story no matter where I find myself.

The Walter Family *snap* *snap*

Rev. Paul Walter - part-time pastor, part-time superintendent, but full time dad. Also, occasionally referred to as Pablo, by yours truly.

Cheryl (Shae-Shae) Walter - kindergarten teacher by day, family glue by night. Currently taking care of her school children and her own children.

Me - narrator extraordinaire

Liz Dusseau - Spring Arbor admissions representative, Liz is my introduction to much of what I am missing in the states, especially music. Married to Mark Dusseau, worship leader for the Jackson Free Methodist church and member of the band "Like Jonathan" (check them out on iTunes)

Amanda "Da" Riggle - certified elementary teacher (currently looking for full-time employment, if you hear of any openings). For the next two and a half months, a mother-to-be. Married to Josh Riggle, also a teacher that works hard to provide for the family.

Sarah "Zama" Walter - the youngest of the fam. Sarah will be graduating from Spring Arbor University a semester early. This is the one I have to look out for, she may be the only one that stands a chance of seeing more of the world than myself.

This concludes the brief overview of those with which I am mostly likely to talk about. At various times, I am sure I will introduce more players, however this list will suffice for now.

TV time

Continuing with what was started yesterday gets me to, what is sure to be my favorite new show of the fall. This again was something my sister, Liz, alerted me to. Last May while I was still in Romania, before heading home for the summer, I received a facebook message from said sister say that I needed to check out a new show. The Pilot was available for free download on iTunes, and she was sure that I was going to enjoy it. Much to my chagrin she was correct. That new show is "Glee", and I am geeking out over it.

Ever since I downloaded that first episode, I had been impatiently waiting for the rest of the show to start. Finally, after nearly four months of waiting (this past Wednesday), "Glee" was back. For those unfamiliar with the premise of the show, allow me to fill you in quickly. Glee takes place at the fictional William McKinley High School somewhere in Ohio, a school known for having a highly ranked cheerleading squad (the "Cheerios") and at one time an award winning showchoir group. Many years have passed since anyone at the school cared about the glee club, until a former member of the group (now a teach, Will), feels compelled to get the group competitive again. The task then becomes convincing the students that the glee club can actually be a fun activity. And hilarity ensues.

There are two things I am looking forward to from this show. The first, being a former showchoir participant, is the music. In the first two episodes, we have heard music from Journey, Kanye West and Rhianna. These were not just playing in the background, but incorporated into the actual show, sung by the cast members. This promises to be a very interesting way of telling a story through song. It also turns the entire show into a drawn out musical, which I love. The second thing I look forward to are the cameos and on air talent the show can bring. One of the leads already made a name for herself on Broadway as a member of the original cast of "Spring Awakening" (Lea Michelle). The other name I have heard will be making a guest appearance is Kristin Chenoweth.

I will be following this show very closely this year, and it is easily the newest guilty pleasure on the television.

New music

I first have to tip my hat to Liz and Mark for cuing me into this band. Thank you both.

I have now decided to make it my mission to get as many people addicted to the same things I am addicted to, so that I have others that can take part in the self-loathing that eventually takes place with guilty pleasures. The surprising thing, however, is that Owl City (despite how ridiculous the name looks) is an absolutely amazing band. The best part about it, is how multilayered the songs are. Everything is deeper when you take a step back. Complex tracks that boggle the mind, clever lyrics which many times mean more than what you originally think they do ("Then we'll take a long walk through the cornfield, and I'll kiss you between the ears") and a certain level of happiness to the music that makes me enjoy it more the more I listen to it.

I have mostly listened to the CD "Ocean Eyes", and confess to begin completely sucked in to it. With only a few tracks that I choose to skip, not because they are bad, but because I can't wait to get to the next song. As mentioned by my sister when we listened to the CD for the first time, she admitted to not having listened to the whole CD by herself, because she just listens to the first three songs repeatedly. I totally understand how this is possible.

For those who have not heard of Owl City allow me to make a comparison. At any given time, I believe they sound like a combination of Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie with a piece of Relient K thrown in for good measure on occasion. It is peppy electronic music at its best. I personally gravitate toward "Cave In", "The Saltwater Room", "On the Wing" and "Fireflies".

I look forward to more music coming from this band, and strongly suggest that everyone check this band out at least once.

Adjustments

I love to travel. I know that many will not believe that, but it’s true. The crowded airports, the delays and the lost baggage. Oh, I love it. But I don’t like arriving at my destination, because inevitably it means that I need to start adjusting to the new time and place.

I am finding it a much more daunting task getting readjusted to Eastern European Standard Time than what I remember. Insomnia is confusing, especially when one knows they should be tired. It’s given me plenty of time to work on my musical (picture werewolves on the moon...with, you know, singing) and movie (just a small town girl, living in a lonely world). I may have gotten those mixed up, but I’m not sure.

But I can say that I have significantly more time than what I’m used to. I guess that’s what happens when you’re only getting two or three hours of sleep a night.